Yesterday my sister had tagged my daughter and me on Facebook in the poster you can partially see above. It says:'Tired of Being Harassed By Your Stupid Parents? Act Now! Move Out...Get A Job, Pay Your Own Bills!
It struck a cord immediately, as it will with anyone who has teenage kids. And if that teenager is about to turn eighteen, only heaven can help you! So I replied to my sister that in my daughter's book I was probably Public Enemy Number 1.(That was what America had named a certain individual after he master minded the 9/11 attacks). On further reflection I realized she probably considers me her Private Enemy Number 1 and so that's how the post below came about!
Private Enemy Number 1
We're blessed with a daughter
Who has a super G.P.A,
'She's so clever, so stunning, so kind.'
They all repeatedly say.
My daughter and I rarely clash,
But if I find her on snap chat,
I see my temper rise in a flash!
Publicly she says,'Mom doesn't want me to have some fun'
And she thinks,'She's my Private Enemy Number 1'.
'Why are you on Facebook I say?'
'When tomorrow is your exam day?'
'Instead of studying you are on Face time?'
'Mark my words, at this rate, you won't be able to earn a dime.'
Publicly she feels, 'Mom doesn't want me to have any fun'
And she thinks, 'She's my Private Enemy Number 1'.
Two minutes for the school bus to come
And she slathers foundation on her face,
Then pell-mell down the stairs she will race.
I screech,' Is it necessary to smear this muck?'
And she rues,' I'm with a NO-Make-Up-Mom stuck!'
Publicly she says, 'Mom doesn't want me to have fun,
In her mind? 'She's my Private Enemy Number 1!'
During Senior Trip, on the beach bikinis were the trend,
And she wanted to imitate many a friend.
I said,' Clothes of this kind?'
'Are you out of your mind?'
'We call them inners for a reason,'
'For Indian culture, this is nothing short of treason!'
So she was covered from top to mid thigh,
And with huge relief I did sigh...
Publicly she hissed,'Mom doesn't want me to have any fun'
In her mind she stewed, 'She's my Private Enemy Number 1.'
With her board exams over, she wants to shop for clothes on line,
I ask,' You think this is the right time?'
'You have enough clothes to fill a store,'
'Why ever would you want some more?'
And she growls,' Mom doesn't want me to have some fun,'
'Here's proof she's my Private Enemy Number 1!'
And then she shouts,'I'm almost eighteen, I'm now free,'
'Excusez-moi, I hope you know we are paying your college fee?'
'You're still accountable, we still expect a great report,'
'And we'll move heaven and earth to your dreams support.'
But in her mind the thought brews,'Mom NEVER wants me to have fun,'
'No one could have a worse Private Enemy Number 1.'
Then as we were booking our tickets to home and back,
Suddenly she changes her tack.
'If college doesn't start can I come back with you?'
And I think, 'Wow, this is something totally new!'
Till a few months ago she'd say,'I'll visit you in a year or may be two'.
And every time I'd end up feeling rather blue...
Finally in her mind she knows,'Mom wants for me only the very best'.
And I am content to let my case rest.
Finally she feels, 'Mom's NOT my Private Enemy Number 1',
'Her Dos and Don'ts today will ensure a future life of work and fun!'