Amongst Indians or people of Indian origin, wedding invites are first issued verbally to immediate and extended family, immediate neighbours, close friends and certain colleagues. Since planning and executing an Indian style wedding is a colossal task and people travel from far and wide, forewarned is forearmed!
Thus it was that my husband's boss and the owner of Kenya's top tea company that my husband works for, sounded him off in April itself, about his older daughter's wedding, which was to take place in August 2019, in London. I told my own daughter and her excitement ran sky high and she was determined to attend this wedding, especially as her college did not begin until the 1st of September. She knew this would be a really lavish and glamorous 'celebrity style wedding' and besides she had never visited the United Kingdom and this seemed like a golden opportunity, pun unintended of course, though one may be forgiven for thinking one has stumbled into a gold shop accidentally, while entering the venue of an Indian wedding! And into a designer sari shop too, for good measure!
There was the 'small' matter of visas and whether we would get them in time or would they be rejected, was the moot question. My husband and I had travelled to the UK twenty two years ago and so had those visas in our old passports, making it easier the second time round. But we were both eligible to apply from India and Kenya, and my daughter was eligible to apply from India, Kenya and the United Arab Emirates! The Indian travel agent was worried and advised us to apply from our countries of residence, (Kenya and UAE respectively), as applying from India could be a reason to reject them! Ultimately my daughter and husband, who were in India for a short time, ended up applying from Nairobi, while I applied from my home town, Pune. We spent a mini fortune, even though these stiff upper lipped folks entered our country so many centuries ago without a so much as a 'by your leave', we have to shell out mega bucks to get the documents to enter theirs....Oh, the expensive irony!
And so, though our visas were still in limbo, it was time to shop for this wedding while we were in India. Shopping in Nairobi would have meant we would have had no funds left to buy our tickets to London! We were invited for three major pre wedding and wedding events and so outfits and accessories (read matching purses, shoes, costume jewellery ) for every single outfit became essential. Suffice to say, at the end of all the shopping and stuffing heavy dresses into suitcases that seemed to have shrunk, my daughter declared that IF she ever got married, she would never have a destination wedding, as packing wedding outfits, even as guests, seemed an impossible task and imagine if you were the bride herself ! I'll definitely hold her to this IF and when the time comes...
After spending a few days in Nairobi, settling my son into his new academic year and teaching my Mom the ropes of handling the house, managing my house hold staff, and the 'how to' of teenage sitting the son and baby sitting the dog, taking a marathon twelve consecutive hours of compensatory classes on Skype to make up for my little holiday and participating in a Webinar as the chief speaker, finally we were on our way to London...
The hotel where we were put up was in a very beautiful part of London, at Kingston Upon Thames, and was located at the sight where hangings took place many centuries ago. That was where the original inn had come up, to accommodate people who had travelled long distances to witness the hangings... Rather gruesome but more grist to the mill for an officially qualified history buff like me! We were greeted by very thoughtful 'Welcome to our Wedding Weekend' hampers which had been placed in every room booked for the wedding. They had everything ranging from wet wipes to chocolates, snacks, safety pins, mini bottles of perfume, the ubiquitous band aids and many more things!
The most unique aspect of this wedding was that the girl is a Muslim of Indian origin, brought up in Kenya and the United Kingdom and the boy a British Jew and yet like all Indian weddings, no matter from which religion, so many of the pre wedding rituals were identical to those found all across India...And Bollywood of course effectively blurs all man made lines (yes, even the Radcliffe line!), with its milieu of songs and dances, which have become such an intrinsic part of Indian weddings.
The Mehendi or Henna painting ritual was the first formal wedding event and the bride's family mansion's garden with its colourful decoration of silk threads and a huge tent and stage which had been put up on the lawn, was the perfect backdrop for this rainbow hued event. Delicious food that felt like it had been flown in straight from India, right down to the Kulfi (Indian ice cream) and fresh betel nut leaves, hit all the right spots, with us vegetarians being sumptuously catered too as well. A little bit of traditional wedding songs and dances and the camaraderie of close family, friends and overseas guests made for a glorious day. It was the perfect way to kick start the celebration. We all queued up to get the intricate henna patterns done on our hands from the ladies especially invited for this occasion and got into the wedding mood, with the first fragrant whiff of henna!
Thus it was that my husband's boss and the owner of Kenya's top tea company that my husband works for, sounded him off in April itself, about his older daughter's wedding, which was to take place in August 2019, in London. I told my own daughter and her excitement ran sky high and she was determined to attend this wedding, especially as her college did not begin until the 1st of September. She knew this would be a really lavish and glamorous 'celebrity style wedding' and besides she had never visited the United Kingdom and this seemed like a golden opportunity, pun unintended of course, though one may be forgiven for thinking one has stumbled into a gold shop accidentally, while entering the venue of an Indian wedding! And into a designer sari shop too, for good measure!
There was the 'small' matter of visas and whether we would get them in time or would they be rejected, was the moot question. My husband and I had travelled to the UK twenty two years ago and so had those visas in our old passports, making it easier the second time round. But we were both eligible to apply from India and Kenya, and my daughter was eligible to apply from India, Kenya and the United Arab Emirates! The Indian travel agent was worried and advised us to apply from our countries of residence, (Kenya and UAE respectively), as applying from India could be a reason to reject them! Ultimately my daughter and husband, who were in India for a short time, ended up applying from Nairobi, while I applied from my home town, Pune. We spent a mini fortune, even though these stiff upper lipped folks entered our country so many centuries ago without a so much as a 'by your leave', we have to shell out mega bucks to get the documents to enter theirs....Oh, the expensive irony!
And so, though our visas were still in limbo, it was time to shop for this wedding while we were in India. Shopping in Nairobi would have meant we would have had no funds left to buy our tickets to London! We were invited for three major pre wedding and wedding events and so outfits and accessories (read matching purses, shoes, costume jewellery ) for every single outfit became essential. Suffice to say, at the end of all the shopping and stuffing heavy dresses into suitcases that seemed to have shrunk, my daughter declared that IF she ever got married, she would never have a destination wedding, as packing wedding outfits, even as guests, seemed an impossible task and imagine if you were the bride herself ! I'll definitely hold her to this IF and when the time comes...
After spending a few days in Nairobi, settling my son into his new academic year and teaching my Mom the ropes of handling the house, managing my house hold staff, and the 'how to' of teenage sitting the son and baby sitting the dog, taking a marathon twelve consecutive hours of compensatory classes on Skype to make up for my little holiday and participating in a Webinar as the chief speaker, finally we were on our way to London...
The hotel where we were put up was in a very beautiful part of London, at Kingston Upon Thames, and was located at the sight where hangings took place many centuries ago. That was where the original inn had come up, to accommodate people who had travelled long distances to witness the hangings... Rather gruesome but more grist to the mill for an officially qualified history buff like me! We were greeted by very thoughtful 'Welcome to our Wedding Weekend' hampers which had been placed in every room booked for the wedding. They had everything ranging from wet wipes to chocolates, snacks, safety pins, mini bottles of perfume, the ubiquitous band aids and many more things!
The most unique aspect of this wedding was that the girl is a Muslim of Indian origin, brought up in Kenya and the United Kingdom and the boy a British Jew and yet like all Indian weddings, no matter from which religion, so many of the pre wedding rituals were identical to those found all across India...And Bollywood of course effectively blurs all man made lines (yes, even the Radcliffe line!), with its milieu of songs and dances, which have become such an intrinsic part of Indian weddings.
The Mehendi or Henna painting ritual was the first formal wedding event and the bride's family mansion's garden with its colourful decoration of silk threads and a huge tent and stage which had been put up on the lawn, was the perfect backdrop for this rainbow hued event. Delicious food that felt like it had been flown in straight from India, right down to the Kulfi (Indian ice cream) and fresh betel nut leaves, hit all the right spots, with us vegetarians being sumptuously catered too as well. A little bit of traditional wedding songs and dances and the camaraderie of close family, friends and overseas guests made for a glorious day. It was the perfect way to kick start the celebration. We all queued up to get the intricate henna patterns done on our hands from the ladies especially invited for this occasion and got into the wedding mood, with the first fragrant whiff of henna!
That's NOT the bride and I have permission to post this pic!
The next event was the 'Sangeet' or the mega song and dance ceremony. Practice had been in full swing over the past many days and two choreographers had flown in all the way from India! There was the bridesmaids' dance, the parents of the bride dance, the parents of the groom dance, the bride's Uncles danced and finally the couple du jour danced, of course. After this the dance floor was thrown open for all the guests and as the DJ belted out the most popular dance numbers, it got transformed into a riot of colours, with even non dancers like my husband and me being pushed onto the dance floor. The popular Bollywood number from a super hit movie with the lines 'poora London thumakda' (all of London is dancing), was met with a huge roar of approval as it seemed so ironically appropriate for the occasion! The cuisine was street food from different parts of the world, with India predominating, of course, and the venue the very beautiful and historic Conservatory at Painshill in Surrey, with its lush expanse of green lawns and summer flowers in the most gorgeous of colours and the magically decorated hall and dining area...An enchanting evening, to say the least.
The colours of Indian street food compliment the summer flowers, at the Conservatory at Painshill, Surrey. Note the delicate henna pattern on my daughter's hand!
Recreating the street food scene at Painshill!
The actual wedding ceremony was a civil one followed by the grand finale, the wedding reception at the Hurlingham Club, set on forty two acres of grounds, bordering the Thames, at Fulham, touted as one of Britain's most exclusive private clubs. The waiting list for membership, we were told, is THIRTY years long! A couple of days ago, the club was in the news as Kate (the Queen's grand daughter in law) is taking private tennis lessons there and her three children are romping all over the grounds and no we did not bump into her when we were there!
There's a time capsule buried right at the entrance of the club, adding an interesting touch of whimsy to an otherwise colonially correct establishment! I wonder what it says? Maybe it's,"No, though it's 2104 your turn for membership still hasn't come! Keep waiting...till eternity!"
After mingling around in the atrium, we were led to our pre designated tables in the spectacularly decorated grand salon. Everything matched the pink theme of the wedding invites, including the menu cards, the party favour boxes and the floral arrangements. One of the gifts in the box was a special blend of tea concocted for the new couple. A fitting touch, when your family owns one of the largest tea companies in Africa and is in the tea business in the United Kingdom too. The dinner was to be a pre plated one, with each delicious course being served to us in pre set plates, even as we listened to speeches by members of the groom's and bride's parties....A new experience for us but a very enjoyable one.
And then the dance floor was thrown open post dinner with everyone enthusiastically hitting the floor, with my daughter leading the pack...
And that finally wrapped up the wedding, our main purpose for being in the United kingdom and I'm going to need a couple of posts more to write about other important aspects of our trip!
So bear with me,
This is the first of three..!
(When one visits Stratford Upon Avon for all things Shakespeare , which we did during this trip, I guess one starts ending a post with a rhyming couplet!)
