It has been exactly a year since I attended the wedding of the daughter of very close family friends of my parents, which was held in Guwahati, Assam, a place where I spent three of my pre teen years. To go back to a city you once lived in, after nearly thirty long years and to meet old school friends, is emotional beyond belief and probably the reason why I still haven't been able to write about it....But I will, very soon... A number of people sent me messages on my birthday last week, urging me to keep writing and keep inspiring, which made me realize that my output for 2018 has been my lowest since I first began blogging way back in 2011, after moving to Nairobi. So that is something I definitely need to rectify in 2019. A major reason why I did not write much was also that a dear friend here went through a major upheaval in her life and since the blog is all about things that actually happen around me and always contains the unadulterated truth, as I see it, I had to curb myself, since the matter was and remains subjudice....One more reason to start afresh in 2019 and utilize each day to its utmost, as one does not know what lies around the next bend on the hard and some times rocky road of life.
In the mean time, an exciting thing happened last month! We got invited to a Kenyan wedding! While I have attended a few KenIndian weddings here in the past, courtesy of the Indian origin business community my husband works with, I had never, ever, attended a truly Kenyan wedding. I love weddings, so you can imagine how excited I was...The bride is a security guard in my son's school and I felt truly privileged to be one of the handful of school parents whom she had invited to grace her big day. I have tremendous respect for security guards in the malls, government offices and educational institutions of both India and Kenya, because, in the unfortunate event of an attack, they are always in the direct line of fire, which is exactly what had happened during the terrorist attack at Westgate Mall.
I happily assured her that I wasn't travelling on the Saturday of her wedding. She was worried whether I would be there or not,since the school holidays would have just begun and I told her I would definitely attend the post church wedding reception in our school gymnasium. I was touched that the school had offered the space to host the function for one their staff members. I spent a long time shopping for the perfect wedding gift for her, as a mark of gratitude, for keeping our children safe at school. I wanted something pretty and yet functional and I finally found it and then splurged some more on choosing wedding appropriate wrapping paper. Wrapping paper in Kenya, unlike in India, does not automatically come free with the gift, but has to be bought separately, a fact that irks me to this day! 'Free' habits die hard....
Since the church was rather far from the reception venue, I was in touch with another security guard from our school and my son and I left home only when he assured me that the bridal party was on their way from church. We still ended up being the first ones at the beautifully decorated and colour coordinated venue but were soon joined by another parent I knew from school, who had come straight from the wedding ceremony. It was to be another hour before the family and friends of the bride and groom would arrive and THREE more hours before the couple du jour would show up, since they had a two hour photo session in between the wedding ceremony and the reception! Wow! This was certainly a new experience for me.
The multiple cakes matched the decor colours!
In the meantime, the two hundred odd guests began queueing up to help themselves to the buffet lunch. Waiting for the 'couple of the day' was not part of the custom. One of the hostesses urged those around my table to get up and help themselves. After a while, she observed that my son and I had no plates in front of us. She cut through the queue and brought us two plates heaped with food. I was touched by her kind gesture but had to explain to her that we could not eat anything since we are strict vegetarians...She was puzzled but accepted my explanation. I urged my son to go and help himself to a soft drink since I felt that it would seem rather rude if neither of us had absolutely nothing! (This was a huge concession on my part, since I am always urging my son to stay away from the pure poison that I feel these bottles contain, and don't even get me started on my thoughts about alcohol! Mercifully, the school is a drug, alcohol and tobacco free campus....) My son shot off like a bullet to grab his bottle of Stoney, the famous ginger flavoured drink of East Africa!
Meanwhile, where were the bride and groom? No matter! The guests had happily feasted and the uncles, aunts and cousins were called by the Master Of Ceremonies, to join the line, that was already snaking around the tables and chairs. Traditional African music began being played and the entire wedding party began doing a line dance, weaving themselves between the tables and chairs. The sheer joie de vivre on their faces would put the guests at the recent mega Bollywood weddings that we had been forcefully subjected to, by the Indian media, to shame! My son, after having been very patient for three whole hours of basically doing and eating nothing, was ready to go home and so I sent him off ( oh the advantages of residing just outside the school gate!) but I was not ready to budge until I had seen the bride.
Finally there was an announcement that the much awaited moment had come and the couple was outside. All the ladies were asked to come outside to welcome them in and so we walked out of the gym. I found this custom really nice as I am sure the bride and groom, followed by the brides maids and groomsmen, felt very special as they danced into the gym, to the beat of traditional Kenyan chants and songs. Once again the entire line danced around the periphery of the hall, this time led by the new couple, until they reached the decorated table at the head of the hall, where their lunch had been kept warm for them. Everyone's happiness was palpable and again brought home the fact that one does not really need much to enjoy life....
The beautiful and glowing bride dances her way in, into the hall
Unlike in India, the presents were not handed over directly to the bride or the groom. A chief usher sat at a large table and the gifts had to be deposited there. She put a number on a sticker which was then stuck to the gift. The same number was then entered into a little ledger which also had the giver's name against it. For those who wanted to gift cash, little brown envelopes were handed around long before the couple made an appearance. This, I thought, certainly saved the mad scramble I have experienced many, many times, while leaving home to attend a wedding, when the fancy gift envelope I had so carefully kept, absolutely refuses to be found, necessitating a stop on the way to the venue, to purchase an envelope! The little brown envelopes were then popped into a box with a small slit, which would be handed over to the couple later, with all the cash safe and sound inside. What an ingenious idea!
Once the couple and their immediate entourage were seated, the few other parents and I decided it was time to leave. But, as another guest told us when she saw us leaving, the fun had just begun! As we waved to the bride and smiled at everyone and walked out, we knew the guests would dance and sing and eat cake late into the evening....It seemed a perfect metaphor for the new couple's life together that had begun that day and actually seemed like a good mantra for the rest of us to follow too....
The wedding gift we gave, I loved those red roses on the paper I chose!
Any guesses for what's inside? It's functional but fragile!
In the mean time, an exciting thing happened last month! We got invited to a Kenyan wedding! While I have attended a few KenIndian weddings here in the past, courtesy of the Indian origin business community my husband works with, I had never, ever, attended a truly Kenyan wedding. I love weddings, so you can imagine how excited I was...The bride is a security guard in my son's school and I felt truly privileged to be one of the handful of school parents whom she had invited to grace her big day. I have tremendous respect for security guards in the malls, government offices and educational institutions of both India and Kenya, because, in the unfortunate event of an attack, they are always in the direct line of fire, which is exactly what had happened during the terrorist attack at Westgate Mall.
I happily assured her that I wasn't travelling on the Saturday of her wedding. She was worried whether I would be there or not,since the school holidays would have just begun and I told her I would definitely attend the post church wedding reception in our school gymnasium. I was touched that the school had offered the space to host the function for one their staff members. I spent a long time shopping for the perfect wedding gift for her, as a mark of gratitude, for keeping our children safe at school. I wanted something pretty and yet functional and I finally found it and then splurged some more on choosing wedding appropriate wrapping paper. Wrapping paper in Kenya, unlike in India, does not automatically come free with the gift, but has to be bought separately, a fact that irks me to this day! 'Free' habits die hard....
Since the church was rather far from the reception venue, I was in touch with another security guard from our school and my son and I left home only when he assured me that the bridal party was on their way from church. We still ended up being the first ones at the beautifully decorated and colour coordinated venue but were soon joined by another parent I knew from school, who had come straight from the wedding ceremony. It was to be another hour before the family and friends of the bride and groom would arrive and THREE more hours before the couple du jour would show up, since they had a two hour photo session in between the wedding ceremony and the reception! Wow! This was certainly a new experience for me.
In the meantime, the two hundred odd guests began queueing up to help themselves to the buffet lunch. Waiting for the 'couple of the day' was not part of the custom. One of the hostesses urged those around my table to get up and help themselves. After a while, she observed that my son and I had no plates in front of us. She cut through the queue and brought us two plates heaped with food. I was touched by her kind gesture but had to explain to her that we could not eat anything since we are strict vegetarians...She was puzzled but accepted my explanation. I urged my son to go and help himself to a soft drink since I felt that it would seem rather rude if neither of us had absolutely nothing! (This was a huge concession on my part, since I am always urging my son to stay away from the pure poison that I feel these bottles contain, and don't even get me started on my thoughts about alcohol! Mercifully, the school is a drug, alcohol and tobacco free campus....) My son shot off like a bullet to grab his bottle of Stoney, the famous ginger flavoured drink of East Africa!
Meanwhile, where were the bride and groom? No matter! The guests had happily feasted and the uncles, aunts and cousins were called by the Master Of Ceremonies, to join the line, that was already snaking around the tables and chairs. Traditional African music began being played and the entire wedding party began doing a line dance, weaving themselves between the tables and chairs. The sheer joie de vivre on their faces would put the guests at the recent mega Bollywood weddings that we had been forcefully subjected to, by the Indian media, to shame! My son, after having been very patient for three whole hours of basically doing and eating nothing, was ready to go home and so I sent him off ( oh the advantages of residing just outside the school gate!) but I was not ready to budge until I had seen the bride.
Finally there was an announcement that the much awaited moment had come and the couple was outside. All the ladies were asked to come outside to welcome them in and so we walked out of the gym. I found this custom really nice as I am sure the bride and groom, followed by the brides maids and groomsmen, felt very special as they danced into the gym, to the beat of traditional Kenyan chants and songs. Once again the entire line danced around the periphery of the hall, this time led by the new couple, until they reached the decorated table at the head of the hall, where their lunch had been kept warm for them. Everyone's happiness was palpable and again brought home the fact that one does not really need much to enjoy life....
The beautiful and glowing bride dances her way in, into the hall
Unlike in India, the presents were not handed over directly to the bride or the groom. A chief usher sat at a large table and the gifts had to be deposited there. She put a number on a sticker which was then stuck to the gift. The same number was then entered into a little ledger which also had the giver's name against it. For those who wanted to gift cash, little brown envelopes were handed around long before the couple made an appearance. This, I thought, certainly saved the mad scramble I have experienced many, many times, while leaving home to attend a wedding, when the fancy gift envelope I had so carefully kept, absolutely refuses to be found, necessitating a stop on the way to the venue, to purchase an envelope! The little brown envelopes were then popped into a box with a small slit, which would be handed over to the couple later, with all the cash safe and sound inside. What an ingenious idea!
Once the couple and their immediate entourage were seated, the few other parents and I decided it was time to leave. But, as another guest told us when she saw us leaving, the fun had just begun! As we waved to the bride and smiled at everyone and walked out, we knew the guests would dance and sing and eat cake late into the evening....It seemed a perfect metaphor for the new couple's life together that had begun that day and actually seemed like a good mantra for the rest of us to follow too....
The wedding gift we gave, I loved those red roses on the paper I chose!
Any guesses for what's inside? It's functional but fragile!
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