A Plunderer, A Marauder, An Unwanted, Intrusive Invader...

On the night of Wednesday, 25th September, 2019, I was on FaceBook for my customary ten minutes post dinner. I saw an update from a student saying that water levels were rising rapidly in her compound and she was desperately seeking help, as it looked like they would need to evacuate their houses...I immediately messaged a very dear friend who lives almost next door to this particular housing complex asking her about the flash flood situation and helpfully telling her to park both her cars in our bungalow compound, a five minute walk from her house and slightly further from the canal which was rapidly spewing out water after incessant rains and had transformed itself into a massive river. Little did I know what was in store for our housing society too. The time was 11:30 pm in India and all hell was to break loose shortly...
Our area was one of the many areas that were to be affected that night and by the time I woke up the next morning , I saw a message from our immediate neighbour asking me to call him when I woke up. I knew immediately that water must have entered our compound, but it was much worse...Water had flooded my parents' home, my car and my two wheeler had been completely submerged and thus began a frantic coordination operation to get a locked house clean again, from across the Arabian Sea...By the grace of God, my classroom which is even closer to the canal turned river, escaped by the skin of its teeth and water lapped at the top most step...Many lives were lost in Pune that fearsome night and tons of garbage adorned the streets, walls and gates, like wreaths left by the river to commiserate with a city in mourning...


 A Plunderer, A Marauder, An Unwanted, Intrusive Invader

A plunderer, a marauder, an unwanted, intrusive invader,
Almost unseen, almost unheard, the whys unknown,
Sneaked in while we were busy on the phone...

Furniture floated and then bloated,
Electronic goods sizzled and snarled,
Cars were by the waters hurled,
The river's fury completely unfurled.

And yet we dared to ask ourselves why,
WHY was the river making us cry?

"Seen the plastic, seen the filth?
Doesn't it make one flinch?
When your garbage chokes my throat,
I'm going to get your goat!"

In our cozy homes were we ensconced,
Expensive cars our parking adorned...
Our houses were always neat as a pin,
We never learnt polluting the river was a sin...

And then we realized how helpless we are,
No power, no water nor internet won't take us far...
And all the while the ceaseless, relentless rain beat down,
To the river's destruction, it added an additional crown...

Instead of roads we now have gaping holes,
Instead of power we have twisted poles...
Our cars are heaps of rusty junk,
The water even swept away Granny's old trunk...

Oh how badly we have are fingers burnt,
Have we then our lesson learnt?
Global warming is a reality,
First hand views are not pretty...

Let's reduce that carbon footprint,
In operation Clean Up let's do a stint...
And face harsh reality that in my city,
The damage hasn't been itty -bitty...

So let's recycle, reduce, reuse, refuse,
And let need, not want, let you choose...
Let's all come together and do our bit,
Already our dear planet has been deemed unfit...

A solution is needed quick and fast,
Let's find it before we breathe our last....

A plunderer, marauder, an unwanted , intrusive intruder,
Befits Man, not the poor, polluted river!


                                                Op Clean Up began in my parents' dining room

                                                                Into the kitchen too...

                                           The road to my classroom became a river that night...

                                           Garbage trapped at our bungalow's little gate

                                                 Five minutes walk from the house...

                                                                         Sad Sights....

When The Jacaranda Is In Bloom...

In times of extreme emotion, I have always found that it is easier to write poetry instead of prose. This week got off to a tough start, as we got the news that two men living in two different countries, both in the prime of life, passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly, both unmitigated tragedies, no matter which way you look at it. One died on Mount Everest, the other by the side of the Expressway that runs between my home town and Mumbai... Both friends of friends and relatives, both leaving behind young families, one does not have to know them personally to feel almost first hand how ruthless life can be...Also today it has been six years since Westgate Mall was attacked by terrorists leaving behind so many devastated families... Does one really ever recover from tragedy? And then yesterday we got the horrible news that our neighbour's gentle, sweet, kind old dog needs to be put to sleep. Since our bungalow shares a common compound, it feels like we are losing a family member yet again this year...


When The Jacaranda Is In Bloom...

When the jacaranda is in bloom,
At times, to me, it spells a lot of gloom.
Six years ago today when lavender blossoms adorned Nairobi like a bride,
Evil terrorists ensured scores of people at Westgate died.
Roads carpeted with Jacaranda blooms were awash with blood,
Of anger, fury, grief and tears there was a flood...

Last Sunday when Jacaranda blossoms were just peeking from behind the leaves,
And there was a hint of mauve on all the trees,
A dear friend's fellow mountaineer met his end on Everest,
Today he comes home to be laid to eternal rest.
He leaves behind a little daughter and a pregnant wife,
Between Man and Mountain, man lost the strife...

That same Sunday night when Jacaranda blooms had gone to bed,
In my hometown, a brilliant spine surgeon, after a freak accident, was declared dead.
Gone are those dextrous fingers, gone is that skilled hand,
That once a scalpel so deftly and adroitly manned.
Never again home to his wife and daughters will he rush,
All because of a horribly driven private bus.

In my own back yard from where the Jacaranda is seen in a purple haze,
My neighbour's gentle old dog lies in a cancerous daze.
In a handful of hours she will be put to eternal sleep,
Is there any wonder then that the Jacaranda makes me weep?

But then, every morning, down my lane, what do I see?
It is, as if, the Jacaranda has laid down a lavender carpet just for me.
I square my shoulders and lift my chin,
Just being around to see Jacaranda blooms feels like a win.

No matter what has happened in the years that have passed,
Every September, the Jacaranda gives our eyes a fabulous repast.
And it's up to us to drink in Nature's wonderful sight,
For, who knows, against Man, when these trees will lose their fight...

Lessons Death Taught Me

Today it's been four whole months since my Dad passed away and much water has flowed under the bridges spanning the Mula-Mutha rivers in my hometown Pune, the Athi river here in Kenya and the Thames too...We have taken many flights back and forth in the past few months, all of which would have left my Dad with his heart in his mouth, even as he would have assiduously tracked the flights on his phone Flight Aap, from take off to landing... Those who knew him, know well his absolute terror of flying, fueled by a couple of Air Force crashes he had witnessed and some near escapes he had had, during his tenure in Leh Ladakh, in Jammu and Kashmir, in his early army days.
Hard and hectic as these last few months have been (it is not easy to wind up your parents' whole house almost single handedly, lock up your own house, teach students who are ALWAYS appearing for exams, shop for a wedding it was imperative to attend, and finish a hundred and one legal and other formalities death invariably brings in its wake, pun unintended), they have taught me a lot about what those living need to do to make life slightly easier for those left behind. Trust me, no banks or municipal corporation offices in India make anything smooth for you, so 'Be Prepared' has to be the motto.

Health : This is the number one piece of advice I have for ageing parents. Parents need to take great care of themselves, exercise as per your doctor's advice, keep a strict check on your diet and GO for regular checks ups and other tests as advised by your doctor... This is one area where my Dad and I invariably clashed, with me pushing him for annual tests and him backing away from them like those needles were plague infected...Since he had been on blood thinners for more than a decade due to Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT), it was even more imperative for him to get tested regularly. I ended up in Pune in January 2018, (not a time for my regular annual visit) on my way back from a wedding in Assam, took one look at his condition, screamed blue murder (backed by a dear cousin of his who had come to see me), with the result that he finally had the grace to call his technician home for tests. Shortly after the results were out, he was admitted to hospital for more than two weeks, to take care of multiple issues that showed up...but he made it home and that visit of mine bought him the extra year and a half, until May 2019.
So if you have a parent who fears hospitals and tests (and many folks shared this with me later, saying it is usually the Dads who refuse to go anywhere near a doctor), do not be an ostrich and bury your head in the sand but be eagle eyed where your parents are concerned. I'm currently engaged in pushing my Mom to walk regularly and have already succeeded in improving her sleep wake pattern..

Nominations: If both your parents are living, remind them to check that every bank account, every fixed deposit and every insurance policy has the partner's nomination. Our bank in India messed up the nomination for my Dad's Indian Army pension account , probably failing to carry it forward when banking software systems changed, as that account was twenty two years old... This meant that my Mom could not access the money until my sister and I had made a legal affidavit, stating we had no objection to her getting the money and she having to declare that she was his legal heir...Imagine how hard it would be for those who did not have any money, besides the amount in the pension or other affected accounts or even worse had children who refused to sign off what legally belonged to the surviving parent....So, everyone, check all nominations NOW, do not assume that the bank or insurance company has followed through...

Old Vehicles: This one is a request to all senior parents. If you have really ancient vehicles, please make arrangements to dispose them of NOW. Your heirs cannot even scrap a vehicle unless all documents are in order and with so many of us living outside the country, it becomes doubly hard. My Dad had stopped driving his fifteen year old car a few years ago, due to his DVT issues, but refused to sell it off and switch over to an automatic car. The only good thing was that he had got all the checks done and it had been cleared for the next five years, as per India's environmental law and the insurance was up to date. But we had to transfer it to my Mom's name first, for which an affidavit had to be made by her from a government  E Service Centre (my husband went with her for this one and it took nearly all day!) and we, as the heirs had to make another affidavit, declaring we had no objection to the car being put on her name....And then the entire formality of actually selling it but here dear friends came to our aid, and made sure it was handed over to the new owner only after all legalities were completed,  as we were in the country for a very limited amount of time....So my advice? If your heirs don't want the vehicles or do not need them and you are not driving anymore, SELL them and down load the Uber app...

After Death Rites: Put this down on paper. What do you want done after your death? While my sister and I were completely in agreement with whatever our mother wanted to do, objection came from unexpected quarters...I took the decision to donate my Dad's eyes as he had always helped my mother and me in our endeavours to record text books for blind students, ( nearly two decades ago, long before the currently read aloud software was introduced) and everyone was happy that two people would get to see the world... My Mother decided to donate his body to the Armed Forces Medical College to help medical college students. My parents had decided to attend my daughter's graduation from medical college a few years from now, notwithstanding my Dad's fear of flying... Now this would remain only a dream...While my daughter was thrilled with the decision to donate his body, my fifteen year old son wanted to go the more traditional cremation route...Then my mother wanted some religious ceremonies and after death rituals, as these do help to attain closure and give everyone a chance to pray for salvation of the departed soul. Both my children objected vehemently, my daughter because she felt my Dad was not a big believer in traditional rites and rituals and my son because he felt if she had not gone the traditional way after his death, why now?
Finally I had to intervene and say that since we had already signed a hundred affidavits about who his next of kin and legal heir was, it was that person's prerogative to decide what to do after her husband's death...So, I suggest put it down in black and white, grandchildren are very opinionated these days!

Death Comes As The End...BUT Does NOT Exempt You From Income Tax: The government must and does take away its pound of flesh even after you are gone...So for honest, income tax paying entities like us, it is imperative to leave enough money in your account, (which your Next Of Kin have access to), for the tax for the previous financial year...In our case, the money was not an issue but yet ANOTHER affidavit was required to be notarized and submitted to the Income Tax Department by my mother, seeking permission to file returns and pay tax on my Dad's behalf...A good Chartered Accountant is essential here, as he was the one who prepared this particular piece of document and my friendly neighbourhood notary, whom I have done business with for the last fifteen years, quickly notarized it...Only then could my Mom go ahead and pay the tax and file returns. This was pending, as my Dad had got hospitalized on the first day of the new financial year in India and so obviously had been in  no condition to pay his tax, like every year...

Declutter: I had written a blog post about this very topic after we had moved into our current house in Nairobi titled Knick Knack Paddy Whack, Who Gives A Bone? I spent a lot of time simply decluttering my parents' house...It is very hard to get rid of stuff in India as the Garbage collection ladies only take limited amounts of garbage out each day...I had to pay a lot of extra money to persuade them that this was a one off and they should cart away whatever we were throwing out, so that it could go for recycling. DO NOT trash your own house in order to save the environment, instead use cloth bags and sign up for soft copies of bills and other monthly documents and donate or sell things you do not need. It seems once your kids leave home, things just have a habit of piling up, regardless of whether you need them or not... Do not let this happen to you, I started my own declutter process more than a decade ago and it is never too early to start. Also do label all important documents and files clearly and boldly. Though my sister and I eventually found everything we needed, it took really long to go through ancient, dusty files. The next generation will be even more short of time than we are and honestly probably short of the patience too, which is truly required to do all this. It is not easy to make ten trips to the concerned office to accomplish one task...

A dear friend's daughter (and a student of mine) pointed out to her mother that in managing all this and wrapping up things before leaving for Nairobi, where was the time to grieve? That is so true...Death ensures one goes on auto pilot until everything that needs to be done has been done...my Dad was a fellow Capricorn, he would have understood...and would have been the first to share this post on FaceBook for his fellow ex army officers and other friends to learn from!

           Armed Forces Medical College Anatomy Dept, where we said our final goodbye...